


Meet Me Halfway

by rebelqueen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Fighting and making up, Fluff, Force Bond, Last Jedi spoilers, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 07:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13119345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelqueen/pseuds/rebelqueen
Summary: Kylo and Rey remain connected through their force bond. This exposure forces them to work through some things and brings them closer together.





	Meet Me Halfway

     She was fetching a tool for Chewie from another room aboard the Falcon when she felt it again, the tingle in the back of her neck that told her she was no longer alone. She allowed her fingers to close tightly around the desired piece before turning around.

     There he was, the way she always saw him. He was so clear, as if he was standing in the room right next to her, but there was always some detail slightly off that told her it wasn’t real. She had never been able to identify exactly what it was, maybe it was a mixture of things, but he was never really the same in these visions as he was in real life. Was he more vivid or less? Maybe it was the light in his eyes or the timber in his voice. Either way, it didn’t matter anymore.

     “What do you want, Kylo?” She spat his name out through gritted teeth, each syllable increasingly venomous.

     She watched the muscles in his jaw flex as he clenched his jaw in frustration, but he continued to watch her with those ever pleading eyes.

     “I don’t think ‘want’ has anything to do with this.” He gestured between them with a dismissive hand. “You’ve stopped calling me Ben?” She wondered at his tone as he asked the question. He didn’t want to sound like he cared. He wanted to sound like he was relieved that she had given up on the idea of Ben Solo. However, how he wanted to sound did not match his eyes. Those eyes always revealed too much of his soul and suddenly she understood the mask.

     “Yeah. I’ve stopped calling you Ben.” She looked down at the small piece of metal in her hand. He stared at her, searching for something to say for so long that she had to look back up to make sure he hadn’t disappeared.

     “You should have come with me, Rey,” he whispered, taking a few steps toward her. “You should’ve come-”

     His plea was cut short as a roaring Wookie burst into the room, severing their connection.

\--------------------------------------------------

     When next he appeared she was laying in her bunk, staring at the light flickering on the ceiling. She’d been having trouble sleeping since their departure from that little salt planet. She turned her head at the familiar sensation. He was sitting on the chest where she stored her few meager belongings.

     Rey moved her eyes back to the ceiling. She didn’t particularly want to speak to him at the moment, not that she ever wanted to speak to him.

     “Are you...alright?” He sounded uncomfortable, and that brought Rey a small amount of comfort.

     “Snoke’s dead. Why do you keep showing up?” Rey asked curtly.

     “You think I know?” Kylo answered with slight exasperation, standing up to pace the small room.

     “You think I want to keep getting my day interrupted? You think I have nothing better to do? You don’t think there is anyone else that I would rather spend my time talking to?”

     “Like who?” Rey asked, challenging him.

     “What?” He stopped pacing to look at her.

     “Who would you rather be talking to?” Rey sat up and pivoted around to plant her feet on the floor. “All of your _friends_? Surely not your family. You’ve killed all of them. So tell me, please, who are all of these people you’d rather be talking to?”

     “Shut up,” Kylo growled low in his throat.

     “I ask you why this keeps happening because I think you are sad and lonely. I think you’ve always been sad and lonely, but you keep pushing everyone away. You keep fighting until there is no one left. So you find me, and-”

     “Shut up!” Kylo yelled and the light above flickered and went out.

     “Kylo?” Rey whispered into the darkness around her. She could still feel his presence. She knew the connection had not been severed despite his silence. “Kylo?” She tried again with a quiver in her voice.

     “I’m sorry.” His reply came, soft, remorseful, frustrated.

     “Kylo, I-” She began, moving toward where she knew he stood. A knock on her door stopped her.

     “You okay in there, Rey? I think we blew a fuse. Who are you talking to?” Finn’s voice called to her through the door. “Rey? We need help with the fuse box.”

     “Go,” Kylo’s low whisper in her ear sent a chill down her spine. She hadn’t sensed him move closer. He was right behind her now. “Clean up my mistakes. You’re good at that...I need you for that. Go. The connection will be over soon.” He urged her, his lips close to her ear. She fancied she could feel his breath brushing her skin. She knew how easy it would be to lean back and touch him, but for some reason the thought that his breath was there with her seemed absurd.

     “Rey?” Finn called through the door again. “I can hear you talking in there. I know you’re there. Come on. We need help.”

     Rey moved out of her room into the hallway, leaving Kylo alone in the dark room.

\-------------------------------------------

     She’d always had nightmares, but recently they had been becoming increasingly frequent and vivid. Han. Luke. Snoke. All of the violence and chaos that they had been leaving in their wake throughout the galaxy. It followed her like some nasty shadow to her soul.

     She could see him now. Snoke, with his mangled face, boring a hole straight into her soul, not with a scalpel, but with a chainsaw. She could feel the layers of her consciousness being ripped violently away as he held her suspended in air. It felt as real now as it had then. And she knew what came next. The feeling of her mangled mind trying desperately to stitch itself back together. Even now, it had yet to fully heal. Even when she was awake, she could still feel the scars left behind from her encounter with Snoke.

     In her dream, she looked over her shoulder to Kylo. He had knelt on the floor watching her held tightly in place. She tried to see his face. She knew that if she could only meet his eyes, she could gather the strength needed to free herself, to fight back with more than a whimper. She needed to see his face, but all she could make out was the dark silhouette of his crouching form. Only a dark, featureless shadow. She just had to turn a little farther. He was there. She. Just. Had. To. Turn. MORE.

     An explosion of pain erupted in her skull turning everything black, sucking her through a vacuum back into her conscious body.

     The room was pitch back when she opened her eyes , and she tried desperately to pull oxygen into her starved lungs. She could feel sounds of panic leaving her throat, but no sound was reaching her ears.

     “Shh Shh Shh” Strong arms wrapped around her torso, holding her flailing form in place. “I’ve got you. Shhhh.” His deep voice cooed into her hair as if she were a child. She _felt_ like a child lying next to him. Had he always been so tall? “You’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re okay. I’ve got you.” He repeated the words like a mantra in hushed, gentle tones until she stilled.

     She could feel the slick of her cheek against his chest that told her there were tears pouring down her face. Her hands clutched at his shoulders in a desperate attempt to keep him grounded in the connection. His arms squeezed her tightly, one wrapped strongly around the back of her shoulders and the other holding her waist firmly against him. Something in Rey’s mind screamed a warning that the pressure of his arms around her was the only thing keeping her from exploding outward into a million pieces to be flung across the expanse of the universe. If the connection failed and he vanished, it might be the death of her. So she clung. And if her nails digging into his skin hurt, he did not complain. He just clung back.

     “Did you know that I can feel when you have a nightmare?” He whispered. She blinked up at him in the darkness. “How many light years away are we from each other? And I can feel your fear, panic, pain. Did you know that?”

     “No.” The single note cracked on her lips.

     “They’ve been getting worse.” Silence as he stroked her back in large, languid circles. “I wish I knew how to control this thing. That I could come to you. That I could…” He trailed off, still tracing circles of static electricity in her skin.

     “Wish you could what?” She urged him to continue. Her request went unmet, but she could feel him thinking hard. Rey wished she could see his face as he thought. Was he trying to look at her as hard as she was trying to look at him?

     “Your chin is very pointy, you know.” He shifted his torso to relieve the pressure of her ‘pointy chin’ from where she had been resting it on his sternum.

     She let out a phlegmy laugh and pressed her face into him in apology. “It’s odd.” She stated abruptly after a moment of silence. “I can feel you, hear you, see you. I almost forgot you weren’t really here. But I can’t smell you.” She said sadly. The lack of smell on his skin against her face reminded her that he wasn’t real. He wasn’t really there. He was only in her head.

     “Do you want to smell me?” He sounded unsure with his question. She laughed again.

     “Probably not. You probably smell like stinky boy.”

     “I do not smell like stinky boy.” Kylo protested, trying not to sound offended.

     “Oh yeah? What do you smell like then?” “I don’t know, but not like a ‘stinky boy’” She could hear the quote marks he was placing around her offensive description.

     “If you say so.”

     “Next time we see each other...”

     “What? We can stop fighting long enough for me to take a nice, big whiff?”

     “That’s not funny.” He sounded so serious.

     “You don’t think anything is funny.” She murmured into his chest, lips sliding over skin. She closed her eyes, feeling safe enough to fall asleep again.

     “That’s not true,” he muttered. Rey smiled at the pout in his voice.

     “Oh yeah? Then tell me a joke.” She demanded sleepily.

     “Hey. Are you falling asleep?” He ran his calloused hands up her arms in a feeble attempt to rouse her.

     “Of course not,” She lied, tucking herself deeper into his side and placing his hands back around her where she wanted them.

     “I don’t want you to fall asleep,” He returned the lie.

     He was answered with an indecipherable murmur and then silence.

\-----------------------------------------------

     “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” She heard the smug voice behind her before she felt the familiar crack of electricity. In a rushed, panicked motion she finished pulling the tunic over her head and spun around to meet him, tugging it down to cover the rest of herself. There was an unfamiliar look of amusement in his dark eyes.

     “Turn around.” She snapped, and he did but not without a little chuckle that left her staggered. He chuckled? “Did you just make a joke?” Her embarrassment was overridden by confusion as she processed his opening statement and tugged her pants on. Albeit it was pleasant confusion.

     “That’s the second time you’ve made that comment. Is that really what you think of me?” He asked, turning back around, head tilted as he watched her. Why did he always have to be watching her like that?

     She shifted awkwardly. “Can you really blame me?” She asked sheepishly.

     “I suppose not.” Kylo looked away from her embarrassed. The look was so foreign on him that Rey laughed a little. “What?” He looked back up at her, brows furrowed in confusion.

     “Nothing.” Rey shook her head and stared down at her bare toes. “It’s just...I’ve never seen you like this. It’s so human.”

     “Human?” He looked slightly taken aback.

     “No, that’s not what I meant.” Rey stepped forward apologetically, eager to correct herself after the hurt look it inspired in his eyes.

     “No,” He shook his head, holding up a hand to stop her. “I know what you meant.”

     “I mean, I know you’re human.” Rey continued defensively.

     “I know. I get it. It’s okay.” Kylo tried to sound reassuring, but it came out sounding kind of annoyed.

     “Obviously you’re human. You’re parents are human.”

     “Rey!”

     “Sorry.”

     “Seems like it’s a first for both of us.” Kylo smiled. Smiled. She just blinked dumbly at him, eyebrows raised. “I’ve never seen you nervous before.” His little grin grew at the hint of color that rose up her cheeks.

     “In my defense, you kind of caught me at kind of a bad moment.” She referenced to her state of undress upon his appearance.

     “Is there ever a good moment to pop into someone’s mind unexpectedly and uninvited?”

     “Fully dressed is always preferred.”

     “Now we’re even.” He shrugged, making her cheeks turn pink again at the memory of finding him shirtless when these episodes had begun.

     “Oh please.” She scoffed. “I hardly think that’s the same. You didn’t even attempt to cover up. It’s not even like you were embarrassed or anything.”

     “Are you embarrassed?” He asked the question with the same scrutinizing gaze she had grown accustomed to. Although the little smirk on his face made the look seem softer somehow, more intimate.

     “I don’t know.” Rey frowned. She wasn’t really, though she knew she should be. Typically if someone walked in on you dressing, it was embarrassing. But she wasn’t.

     “I don’t think you are. You were nervous, but not due to embarrassment. Off kilter, maybe, but not embarrassed. Besides,” he diverged, “there are much more embarrassing situations for us to fall into each other in, especially since there does not seem to be a pattern for this thing we do. I’ve been trying to figure out if I can predict it, be better prepared, but it appears to be random.” His smile disappeared and his usual frown was back in place. This information frustrated him.

     Without thinking, Rey reached out and touched his sour face. That familiar static tingled the tips of her fingers against his skin.

     “I’d never seen you smile before, and yet I already miss it. How is that possible?”

     “Rey…” The loneliness in his eyes rocked her.

     “I want to free you from this anger, from this fear. I want to see you smile again. I want to hear what it sounds like when you laugh. How do I do that?”

     He turned his head away from her hand, pulling away. “I asked you to come with me.” When he looked back to her, there was water in his eyes, but he quickly blinked it away.

     “I couldn’t. You know that. I can’t just abandon them all.” She tried to reason with him.

     “Why not? They had no problem abandoning me.”

     “I won’t abandon you, but you can’t ask me to abandon them either. Don’t ask that of me.” She pleaded with him.

     “You can’t have both, Rey.”

     “Ben.”

     “Explain to me a world in which this works, a reality where we can exist in each other’s lives. I can’t go back there. You have to know that. I can’t just pretend that the past never happened. I can’t just forgive and forget. Luke turned on me, tried to kill me, his own nephew without even allowing me the benefit of the doubt. He had the heart to find the best in Darth Vader after 30 years of terrorizing the galaxy, but at the first hint of darkness in me, he turned. I mean, shit,” He turned away, running a hand through his hair, “what sixteen year old doesn’t have a little darkness in them?” He tried to gather himself. “And my parents sided with him so quickly. No one bothered to ask me for my side of the story. They just threw me away. Wasn’t I worth a second glance?” He sounded so vulnerable and it broke Rey’s heart. Rey rested a hesitant hand on his back. “So tell me, Rey, what alternative is there? You won’t leave and I won’t go, so where can we coexist?”

     “I refuse to believe it’s impossible.” Rey spoke up after a moment of frustrating silence.

     “Then tell me how.” He turned back to face her. “I doubt this mental connection will last forever. One day, whatever Snoke did to establish this will wear off. What then? We never see each other again except on the battlefield?”

     “Then we figure it out, Ben. We will figure it out.”

Kylo opened his mouth to speak, but before the words could come out, he was gone.

\----------------------------------------

     They had landed at the small planet hosting their new base only half a day prior, and Rey had been sent out to check the security sensors set up along the perimeter. She stepped off of her cruiser to check one of the little sensors attached solidly to a tree. She took a moment to take in a deep breath, looking up at the treetops overhead. She still was not used to the humidity that made this planet so green and lush. Sometimes she hated it, but at other times, when she took a moment to appreciate the trees and flowers she found herself unable to imagine going back to the barren deserts of Jaku.

     The tickle on the back of her neck preceded the sound of her name coming from beside her. Rey looked hesitantly around to make sure that they were completely alone.

     “If someone sees you here, there could be big trouble.” She hissed in warning.

     “Why? Are you somewhere secret?” He asked, looking around. “Doesn’t matter. You know I can’t see any of your surroundings, just like you can’t see any of mine.”

     “Yeah, but if someone sees you, they might not understand that you’re not really here. If they think you’re really here, it won’t be pretty.”

     “We don’t even know if anyone else can see me.”

     “Luke saw you,” she pointed out.

     “Yeah, but he was connected to the force. He could have been an exception.” Kylo scowled at the mention of his old teacher.

     “Well, I’d rather be safe than sorry.” She looked around a little more. “I think we are safe though.”

     “Are we?” He asked. “Safe?” The question was loaded enough to make Rey examine her shoes with extreme scrutiny. “I was not asking you to join this side of the war, you know. I wasn’t asking you to turn on them.” She looked back up at him, meeting his eyes. “That’s not what I am asking.”

     “I don’t understand.” Rey frowned slightly, shaking her head.

     “What if neither of us were in this war?” His voice was quiet as he spoke. “We could leave it all behind. We could run away. All of this fighting and violence. We don’t need it. This isn’t about us choosing a side, this is about being by each other’s sides.” “So we go into hiding like Luke did?” “It’s different. He ran out of fear, shame. We run out of…” He gestured between them, fighting the words that had almost slipped out. “ I am tired of being scared all the time. Of being scared I won’t ever see you again. Being scared that when I do see you again we will have to fight. Being scared that you’ll hate me. That I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to be scared everyday of losing you, Rey.” His voice rose slowly with every sentence with both desperation and frustration. “I don’t-” He paused, running a hand down his face. His voice lowered back down to a hush. “I don’t know what this is, Rey. I don’t understand it, but I know - I know! - I won’t be able to survive losing it, whatever it is.”

     “Ben,” Rey reached up to touch his cheek. “You won’t lose me, and as long as you don’t hurt me, I won’t hurt you. As you don’t fight, I won’t fight. As long as you look for me, I will look for you. I promise.”

\-------------------------------------------------

     Her pod had broken down on an errand run and now Rey was stranded out in the middle of nowhere and now it was getting dark. She found a large flat rock to sit down on to watch the sun set behind the mountains in the distance. The deep hues of pinks and purples were beginning to bleed into the sky all around her.

     Someone sat down beside her, pulling his long, black-clad legs up so that his arms could drape around his knees at his chest.. A sideways glance left her with a small smile spreading across her lips. She hadn’t felt him arrive, but he had become such a familiar sight that it didn’t matter. Wordlessly she leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder, and continue watching the watercolor sky.

     “You seem peaceful.” He mused, moving one arm from his leg to around her shoulders.

     “I wish you could see this,” she smiled up at him. “You’d be peaceful too.”

     Kylo offered an amused scoff and said, “I doubt it,” with a small smile on his lips.

     “No, I think you would. Even you mister frowny face could not resist the serenity of a sunset like this.”

     “Describe it to me.” He continued looking forward, that small smile creeping slightly bigger.

     “Um, okay. I’ll try, but I’m not exactly a poet.” Rey looked carefully at the scene in front of her. “I can see mountains,” she began, “there.” She traced their outline with her finger. “Just like that.”

     “Keep going.”

     “They’re dark because the sun is right behind them, you know. I can still see the top quarter of the sun peaking over, right there.” His smirk grew. “The colors are the amazing part though. I’ve never seen colors like it. It starts orange around the sun and moves slowly out into pink and purple and navy, but it’s not a clean transition, you know. The colors are swirled together in places.”

     “Swirled together?” His smirk grew into a grin and he glanced down at her. “I don’t know. I’d say they look more like fingers of color.”

     “What?” The shocked syllable fell from Rey’s lips, her eyes growing wide. She scrambled away in a quick flurry of motion until she was standing.

     Kylo stood with her, his motions a smooth contrast to hers. Rey’s mouth moved worlessly as she watched him approach her. She took a hesitant step backwards away from his approaching form.

     “Don’t be afraid of me, Rey.” He slowly, calmly. “If you’re afraid of me, I...Please don’t be afraid of me.”

     “You’re here.” Rey stuttered out in shock.

     “Yes.” He nodded, holding her face between his big hands.

     “You’re here? Like actually really here?” She reached out and touched him, actually really touched him. “How? How are you here?” Her hands moved frantically over his chest and shoulders.

     “As long as I look for you, you look for me.” Kylo quoted her own words back at her. “Well, I found you.”

     “What about everyone else?” Rey looked around for the war ships or the shooting, but there was only silence.

     “It’s just me, Rey. I came alone. I told you, I don’t want to fight you anymore.”

     “It’s just you?” She was still in shock.

     “Just me.” He confirmed and nodded.

     “And you’re really here?” He smiled down at her, stroking the sides of her hair with his long fingers.

     “I’m really here.” He whispered, stooping to touch his forehead to hers.

     On impulse, she pushed herself onto her toes, bringing her lips crashing into his. For a moment he froze before pulling her flush against him and returning the kiss.

     “Wait,” Rey pulled breathlessly away from Kylo.

     “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-” Kylo began to apologize, but she interrupted with another chaste kiss.

     “No. Shut up.” She hushed him. “You’re here.” She stated the fact with so much significance in her tone that Kylo shot her a confused look. “You’re here.” She smiled and bounced up to press her face into his neck and inhaled deeply, reveling in the intricate deliciousness of his scent. Rey smiled as she pulled away, satisfied. “Okay, now kiss me again.”


End file.
